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Marriage is…

January 1st, 2009 · No Comments

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

I recently attended a lecture about marriage at a convention.  The convention covered a wide variety of issues, but all the sessions by this particular speaker were about marriage.  The speaker was trying to provide a reference to what marriage means.  He went on with all the things people say…

Some of the items he mentioned; Marriage is:

  • An agremeent/contract
  • The binding of two people
  • Two people becoming one
  • A relationship
  • etc…

To keep the audience engaged, he mentioned a few jokes throughout his sessions.  One of his jokes really caught my attention as it defined how people view life today (from a modernity perspective).  The joke went something like this:

A lady came to me and said she thinks she is ready to get married.  I said how glorious is this day, do tell me, what has prepared you for marriage.  The lady responded that she is established in her career, has her own car, and her own home all fully paid by her.  I smiled and told her she was not ready for marriage, rather she was ready for divorce.

The audience graciously accepted the joke with its laughter, but that joke hooked me in.  While it was quite funny, it was true.  The modern (or Western) idea around marriage is that you need to ready from the materialistic aspect of life before getting married.  Have degrees, money, be established, etc..  While these are valid, they are not catch all.  The speaker went on to saying people are viewing marriage as means of convenience between two people, if it can work out.  That many people enter into a marriage unwilling to move beyond the idea of independence and “my” priorities.

He concluded that these ideas are why we have so many failed marriages.  The idea that we need to be independent in a marriage as opposed to co-dependent.  When people enter into a marriage, that entrance is mainly an entrance into co-dependence on each other, no matter what each party’s preconceived notions were it does not change reality of marriage.  Not accepting that reality accelerates the failure of the marriage.

It’s interesting when someone mentions something one might assume is common knowledge, when really it is not.

Reality has a harsh way of dealing with people who refuse to accept it.  Regardless how well a person can build up his/her fake reality, it will catch up with them eventually…

Tags: Life · Random

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